Some Way Back
by Arithion
Summary: Duo loses Heero, but what is really lost and what is really real? He needs to uncover a plot to destroy the peace and see if he can keep his own sanity... 1x2, 3x4x5, future one off 2x6
1. In My Mind

Disclaimer… don't own em yada yada… wish I did, but I would probably be jailed for what I would have them do!!! 

^^ _encases song words_^^ 

#*# scene change 

~#~ flashback 

~~**~~ end of chapter 

~encase self reflective thought~ 

Some Way Back : In my mind

^^You're in my mind all of the time  
I know that's not enough  
if the sky can crack  
there must be some way back  
for love and only love ^^

The sea breeze blew through the mini mansion that had housed the five former Gundam pilots. Exquisitely placed curtains blew into the rooms as the opened windows embraced the sea air. 

With a few exceptions, it was the perfect picture setting for the mildly rich and famous. 

A angry scream resounded through the house, shattering the picture of perfection that was presented to the world. 

"Nooooo Quatre… leave me the fuck alone… I said **NO!**" The voice was full of anguish and pain, almost broken. 

Sobs, so heart rending they almost shook the house itself, resounded from an upstairs bedroom, followed by the slamming of a door. Shaking his lowered head, Quatre Winner made his way down the stairs to the lounge room, a few tears managed to snake down the sensitive boys cheeks. Two heads rose as he walked into the room. 

"Sit down, Quatre…" Trowa stood and ushered the smaller boy over to a seat and began to massage his shoulders. "You're tense… it's about time you relaxed." 

A forlorn expression spread over the young man's face. He shrugged helplessly, his eyes searching for any amount of support that he could find. The taller boy leaned over and kissed him lightly…momentarily taking some of the consternation away. 

"But he needs us…" 

The quiet Chinese boy sitting on one of the comfortable chairs looked over at the blond boy. Eyes shrewd, as usual, he spoke quietly. "Quatre, love… he has been like that for four weeks, it's getting worse, not better. I don't know how long his leave from the Preventers will last… but he is lucky they are being so understanding." 

Quatre looked shocked, upset and a bit annoyed at his dark lover. "They would **want** to be understanding. It was their misinformation that sent Heero into that mission…alone…their stuff up that took the one thing Duo treasured more than life itself away…they would bloody well want to be understanding" 

~Damm I always say something wrong~ The Chinese boy sighed. "Sorry…I didn't mean it to come out the way it did." He walked over and joined the other two. 

Upstairs in his bedroom the ex-Deathscythe pilot cried. Hair unbraided, just the way Heero had liked it, falling everywhere. Thigh length hair isn't very good at being kept out of the way of things. But he didn't care. All he could do was clutch the things that still smelt like Heero…that reminded him of Heero…and be reminded of him. 

~Why him, why now… why everything.~ The thoughts ran through his head constantly, not leaving him in peace, not understanding and for the life of him wondering where the fuck this being called God was supposed to be. He remembered that day so clearly. 

~#~ 

Heero had woke him early…kissing his neck…Duo's favourite way to wake up. Bleary eyed he had looked up at him, and smiled. 

"Happy 19th my baka…" And Heero had flashed his lover one of those smiles that were just reserved for Duo. "I have a short assignment today… I promise I won't be late …and I have a surprise for you when I get home." 

Duo had drawn him into a long, warm and tender kiss. "See you tonight Hee-chan." The chestnut haired boy flashed his partner a rather bleary version of that cheesy smile, before drifting off to sleep again. He only had to go into the office for a few hours that day; he would go later. 

About 4 hours later Duo walked into the Preventers offices. Usually a hive of activity, that morning it seemed twice as bad. Duo didn't really think anything of it, until he saw the looks a few people were flashing at him. He grabbed the tail of his braid, just to make sure that he had remembered to braid it…still twiddling the end through his fingers he walked into his office…the office him and Heero shared. 

Une and Sally were in there, going through Heero's desk, he could see a little package on the desk and idly wondered if that was his birthday present. They stopped as he entered and looked at him…there was something about the expression on their faces that bothered him. 

"Ne? Heero forget something?" 

Une looked like she was about to faint, so it was Sally who spoke. "Duo…sit down." 

For some reason Duo didn't think that that was a good time to flash his silly grin and say he would rather stand, so he actually sat…and started to fidget. 

She looked like she was at a loss of what to say…and then Duo saw the tears restrained by her professional manner and he knew…he just knew. 

His voice was angry…fearful as well, but majorly pissed off. "**HOW**?" That one word made both of the women flinch. They didn't answer him straight away, which only served to enrage him more and he stood. "**How the fuck did he get hurt on an easy routine mission?!"** he saw their eyes flinch when he said hurt and all of a sudden he knew at a whole different level… his stomach spasmed and he dropped to his knees… 

"Oh…" Sally reached out a hand to steady him, and he glared at her… a glare Heero would have been proud of. 

"Don't you **dare** touch me… don't you **fucking** dare!" He stood up…a little wobbly but, none the less, ok. "Where is he…I want to see him now. " He needed to speak, needed to move, so he didn't think…anything but think and he would survive. 

"Duo, you don't want to see…" 

"Of course I fucking want to see…I…**have** no choice." The last was almost a plea…as if he wouldn't believe it if he didn't see it. 

Sally's shoulders lapsed and she shrugged…"Follow me Duo." 

He did, concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other. His mind vaguely registered that he was being taken towards the morgue…not even taken towards the infirmary. He was also slightly aware that his friends had fallen into line behind him and Une. The door was pushed open and Sally took him to one of the cold hard silver tables, nodding to the mortician who stood at the head of the table. The man looked a little surprise that his "charge" had visitors. 

Steeling himself didn't help at all after the covers had been drawn back. Someone had muttered 'no'… he thought it might have been himself. He took a step forward, then another, unable to believe his eyes, not wanting to believe them. 

His hand reached out and touched his lover's cheek. The face was perfect, a pity the same couldn't be said for the rest of him. Duo's mind filed what his eyes refused to see. Left arm with a gash from the elbow to the shoulder, right arm the same…but it was the gaping hole in his chest that made Duo almost recoil. It was as if something had pushed a clawed hand into his chest and ripped out his heart. That dry sarcastic part of Duo added that that was probably the only way Heero could be killed. 

But the face was perfect. Duo ran fingers over the cheeks, and leant forward to kiss his lovers forehead, no tears, no sobs, nothing…that didn't come till later. He turned, throwing his badge at Sally… 

"Leave" was all he said before he left them. As soon as the morgue door had closed, he sprinted…none of the others would ever have a hope in hell of catching Duo when he ran…he was too fast…the only one who had ever been able to…was Heero. The braided boy bolted out of the door and jumped on his lovers motorcycle…gunning it, he released his hair from the braid and tore down the road…not going anywhere but away. 

~#~ 

The memories made the sobs come harder and harsher. Duo felt as if his chest was going to explode…maybe it wasn't such a bad thing. ~Maybe I deserve it~ It would be the easy way out. His head was aching, badly, his body shaking and nothing he could do would stop it. Nothing would ever be the same again, not without him. 

_^^You're in my mind all of the time  
I know that's not enough  
if the sky can crack  
there must be some way back  
to love and only love ^^_

Suddenly things seemed inherently clear. Duo stood, albeit somewhat shakily and walked into the bathroom. He looked in the mirror and glared at his own face, not liking what looked back at him, not understanding how anyone could have loved him. Leaning against the washbasin the tears fell in streams from his eyes again and he stood like that for a long time. Resolve achieved he looked back up at himself but all he could see was Heero's face in front of him, and all he could hear was his voice. 

"You're such a baka." And fondly his hair had been tossled. 

"You are so beautiful Duo." Followed by the most wonderful love making session ever to exist. 

A small cry leapt from Duo's throat and he smashed his fist into the bathroom mirror smashing it and bloodying his hand. Blindly, he grasped for one of the larger shards, and fell to his knees. 

"Forgive me father, for I have sinned." A mocking grin hit his face, not quite sane. "There must be some way back to you, Heero." Even with closed eyes the cut he drew down the artery on his left arm from the elbow to the wrist was eerily perfect. He bit down the pain, shutting it away and observed with clinical detachment how the blood gushed from his arm to pool around him, noticing it even when he collapsed to sprawl on the floor. Idly noting that his hair was becoming a rich nice blood red colour. 

#*# 

Downstairs Wufei and Trowa were doing their best to comfort their smaller lover, in the shape of a full body massage. Quatre for his part was fully enjoying it…that is until the crash from the bathroom resounded through to the living room. He jumped up, looking at his lovers and pulling on a shirt. 

All three looks said the same thing. "Please, not this." Almost as one they dashed up the stairs. 

Quatre reached the room first and pushed at the door that was half open, not liking the colour that was seeping through onto the tiles. "Trowa, Ambulance, now." He would need Wufei and his knowledge of healing…Duo wasn't going to make it without it. The door opened just in time to see Duo fall from his kneeling position to sprawl on the floor, his chestnut locks taking on a blood red countenance… 

"Shit!" Wufei was suddenly by his side, before Quatre could blink, holding towels to the wound to stem the blood flow. Before Duo's eyes closed a look of consternation passed his face. 

"Sorry guys…" The voice was slurry. "But…Heero…" And his eyes closed. The ambulance had responded fast, very fast and idly Quatre wondered just what his taller lover had said to encourage such a response, as he heard the sirens nearing the house. 

He looked down at the pale, forlorn face in Wufei's arms and wished he had have known the right things to say to make his friend not do this. 

The door slammed and the ambulance crew came into view behind Trowa who had bounced up the steps, face grave. 

The fast reaction became obvious to Quatre as he took in the men's uniform. He raised an eyebrow to his lover. "Preventer Emergency team?" 

Trowa shrugged. "I wanted him to live Quatre…not be taken away in a body bag. 'Preventer down' works wonders, and I didn't lie." 

Quatre nodded, trying not to look at the blood covering the floor. He had seen plenty of blood in his life, but the fact that the blood belonged to one of his best friends made it unbearable. 

The medics worked fast to stem the flow and contain the blood. Placing Duo on a stretcher the lead medic stopped to speak to Quatre on the way out. 

"He lost a lot, but I don't think enough…you were lucky you found him… another minute and he'd be gone. " The man looked a little uncomfortable. "He…has been through a lot…It was right of you to call us. " And the man left. 

It seemed everyone knew. 

#*# 

The remaining Gundam Preventers gathered in the hospital, awaiting news to see if Duo would survive. The blood transfusion took a while and they had to make sure his body accepted the foreign blood, he had lost too much to just let his body slowly reproduce it. Finally the doctor came out of the operation room and approached them…face tired but it didn't seem to be hiding any bad news. 

"He will pull through, but he will have to stay here for a number of days…We need to keep an eye on him. It is late now. You are welcome to stay, but I do not believe he will wake up before morning." 

A collective sigh of relief ran through the three remaining Gundam pilots. But the person who spoke took them all by surprise as they hadn't noticed him approach. 

Quiet, serious, and somehow always unearthly beautiful, Milliardo Peacecraft aka Zechs Marquise, had managed to approach the pilots unnoticed. "If no one minds…I would like to speak to him when he wakes up." 

Quatre looked at the blond and cocked his head. "No offence Zechs…but we'd kind of like to talk to him first." 

The taller man shrugged and rolled up one of his sleeves revealing a scar running across his wrist. "I didn't know how to do it properly…" His voice was quiet. "But I have been where he is, when I lost Treize…none of you can say the same…" He just left the statement hanging there and waited patiently. 

Trowa managed to regain his wits first. "If its ok we would like to go in with you to say hello, but we'll leave you alone…he probably wouldn't understand if just you went in alone to see him." 

Zechs nodded. "Agreed." 

#*# 

Groggily Duo pushed his eyes open…confusion hit him as he looked at the ceiling. ~Hell has a ceiling?~ Then as he came more to himself he realized that there were things stuck into him…and adjusting his head to look down at his arms, he sighed in dismay. They had found him in time. Tears started to leak down his face as he realized he wasn't going to join his Heero quite yet. The braided American became angry. He sat up, ignoring the dizziness in his head, he tugged at the drips running into his arms. Swinging his legs over the side of the bed and not paying attention to the blood that fell from the holes left by the needles he searched the room for his cloths. When he realized they probably hadn't left blood soaked cloths in a hospital…he frowned. A nurse had walked into the room and gasped when she saw her patient sitting up in bed. Duo glared at her, it seemed being with Heero for so long had caused the American to inherit some habits. She turned and left the room, and Duo sighed. 

~Damn it. Now she is going to go and get doctors and I am going to have to break some serious bones before I can get up and leave the room and just go and be left alone.~ 

But it wasn't doctors who entered the room; it was his _friends_. He smirked at them. 

"Happy?" His glare didn't lessen and he didn't meet anyone's eyes. "I try to remove myself from the equation so you guys don't have to keep an eye on me all the time and you go and stop me." The usual cheerfulness in his voice was marred by scorn and self loathing. 

Quatre took a step towards his friend, concern plastered all over his face. Duo felt ashamed… his little brother had always only ever had the best intentions. 

Pushing his bangs out of his eyes Duo sighed. 

"Sorry Cat." He spoke softly and raised his eyes to meet the small blonde's. Quatre could see the pain and the bewilderment in them, and all he wanted to do was walk over and hug the longhaired boy. So he did. 

Duo clung to him, tears falling silently down his face as he repeated over and over again. "He's gone Cat… He's gone…and I never showed him…never really showed him…I" Quatre held up a hand to silence his friend. 

"Shush Duo…Here…" The smaller boy handed his friend a little box. "This was meant…for you…" Quatre had had the box for the last few weeks and was going to give it to Duo at the right time…but his friend needed something right then…so he gave it to him. 

Duo looked at it…recognizing it as the little box he had seen on Heero's desk the day he had found out. His face blanched and he frowned. 

Zechs cleared his throat drawing the long haired boy's attention to himself. 

"What are you doing here Zechs?" For a moment Duo wondered if there was something he was needed for at Preventers HQ, but dismissed that thought nearly as fast as it had come. There was no way they would be that stupid. 

Zechs shrugged…he felt a little uncomfortable. This wasn't the care free happy go lucky Duo he was used to coming across. This was a young man who had lost the person he treasured most in his life and had tried to commit suicide because of it. Although he knew how the younger man felt, Zechs didn't consider himself to be as unstable or volatile. He would have to be careful. 

"I just…wanted to see how you were." The others were looking at Zechs by now too. 

Duo raised a sardonic eyebrow. "Never seemed to interest you before." 

Zechs flinched a little, the truth hurt sometimes. But he needed to get Duo back to his peak form. They needed Duo back at work…he was the only one who could do what needed to be done. "I know what you're going through… I've been there myself." And he turned and left the room, leaving the braided boy to mull over what he had just said. 

Duo blinked. ~been through what I have been through…~he started to get angry and then chided himself. ~Treize…he lost Treize.~ 

Duo shook his head playing with the little box idly…not really focusing on it. 

"Open it Duo…don't you want to see what's inside? I know I do." Quatre was only trying to cheer Duo up and for some reason Duo didn't feel like disappointing him. The anger and pain seemed to be distant…he supposed he was drugged. 

So Duo opened the tiny box in his hands and revealed its contents. His heart caught in his throat and his eyes closed as tears once again traced their way down his cheeks. 

Settled in the black velvet lining in the box, were two identical rings. White gold bands about 5mm thick with a line of diamonds running all the way around. Opening his eyes he gently picked them out of the box looking at them, not noticing the sobs he was crying. Engraved on the inside of the band were their names. Duo M & Heero Y followed by Duo's birth date, the date he should have gotten the rings on. He slipped one ring on each ring finger and curled himself into a ball on the middle of the bed, crying. The other occupants of the room completely forgotten he sobbed himself to sleep, not noticing or caring when they left. 

It was dark when he woke up again. The hospital was obviously not used to having a Gundam pilot as a patient. He had recuperative abilities that bordered on miraculous. Still a little dizzy, and he supposed that was only to be expected after suffering the blood loss that he had, he removed the needles they had stuck into him again from his body, as well as the heart monitor. ~Sheesh… I'm not going to die now… am I…they put a stop to that plan…~ He was angry but at the same time he realized what he had done had been selfish. Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei would never have forgiven themselves if he had been successful. A brush with death and he was thinking clearly again…damn it. He sighed as he spied a pair of blue jeans and a shirt in the corner. Grimacing he pulled the clothes on… definitely not his, but then he didn't really care at that point in time. The alarm from the heart monitor had drawn attention to his room and he could hear the nursing staff approaching. Smiling to himself he hid in the shadows as they ran into the room. ~They don't have a hope in hell of finding me, with my experience. Shinigami is back~ he grinned a grin that was more like the Duo Maxwell of old…while his fingers idly played with the white gold bands he swore he would never take off. 

As nursing staff and doctors ran everywhere on the floor trying to find their disappeared patient…a shadow slinked past them all and made its way out of the building, a thigh length braid bobbing in his wake. 

#*# 

Violet eyes narrowed as he surveyed the compound. Great…he had been gone a month and the security had turned to shit…getting into the building would be child's play. 

He made his way towards the main entrance…if he got in this way there would be hell to pay in the morning…and it wouldn't be him who was paying it. ~I didn't realize my security second was so incompetent~ 

Now on the third floor of the building Duo approached his computer lab…not his office…there weren't enough reasons in the world that would make him go into that office again…not for a long while. There was too much of Heero there, there was too much they had **done** there…he blushed as he remembered. 

~#~ 

_^^The sea it swells like a sore head  
and the night it is aching  
Two lovers lie with no sheets on their bed  
and the day it is breaking^^_

"Um Maxwell…" 

"Yes Yuy…" his voice was slightly breathless as he traced a finger down his lover's naked chest. 

"I don't think this is what we are **supposed **to be doing when we say we are going to work late" He chuckled…a sight that only Duo ever got to see…a sight that Duo treasured. 

"My little closet comedian." Duo teased his lover as they lay on his desk…paperwork discarded all over the floor. A shiver ran down his spine and Heero frowned as he felt the movement through his lover. 

"You're cold, baka." The statement made Duo pout. 

"You're not keeping me warm enough…you took my blanket away." 

Heero smiled that secret smile he reserved for his lover as he moved to drape himself over the longhaired boys body… "Oh… sorry…here… I'll give it back to you." And their bodies touched causing a shot of fire to flare up in both of them as they gave themselves over to passion …again. Neither of them noticed the sky lightening… or how long they had been tangled in each other's arms. 

~#~ 

Duo shook his head. He didn't have time to dwell on memories yet. He would have time after he had finished doing what it was he had made up his mind to do. 

Entering his lab, he bypassed the security codes so that to all intents and purposes it appeared that the room was still empty and tsked that the codes hadn't been changed. Glancing at the clock he noticed it was 11pm…~good…the entire night is mine~ 

Flexing his fingers he booted up his systems. He would need everything he had for this… no matter how long it took, not matter who got in his way… he would avenge his Heero. 

_  
^^You're in my mind all of the time  
I know that's not enough  
if the sky can crack  
there must be some way back  
for love and only love ^^_

~~**~~ 

**To Be Continued**

My Home page is www.goldenyaoihuggle.com ... Arithion is the name I usually use, but I post as Arithkenshin here and at www.mediaminer.org/fanfic/ where you can find the parts of this fic that I am not permitted to upload here... Although I will be trying to edit the chapters, the whole fic will definately NOT be able to be posted here, due to its actual overall rating.

~Arith 


	2. Danger Unleashed

Disclaimer: I do ... in no way shape or form (sadly) own any of the Gundam Wing boys... only the story is my idea

Pairings: 1x2 3x4x5

Warnings: Lots of Duo, Duo and more of Duo... hurting, in pain, angry etc etc etc

**Some Way Back: Danger Unleashed**

Duo spent all night in the lab, while the hospital searched for him and his friends worried about him. He frowned as he scrolled through files on his main system. The files over Heero's death were not as well filled out, as he would have expected oh sure they gave all the details and everything but something was lacking. Duo just couldn't quite put a finger on it. 

He viewed the information of the mission his lover had been sent on; he viewed the files gathered on the suspects and he frowned. It seemed nothing concrete had been found out…it seemed nothing concrete **could** be found out. There was something odd about the way all the enquiries had been ended. Almost as if the people they were trying to catch knew about it. They were wary and careful and as far as Duo could tell…not traceable. 

And just when it seemed the Preventers would find out where they were…the trail ended… without a trace. 

He read through the files and retried all the methods that Heero had used… occasionally seeing mistakes his lover had made and making notes to correct them the next time he went through everything. ~Ahhh Heero~ his thinking needed to be clinically detached or he would dwell…so he chose to think about his lover in the only way he could and still keep his thoughts coherent…professionally. ~You were always such a perfectionist, but your training gave you a narrow view of things…you never seemed to take all facets of human nature into consideration. ~ Duo didn't seem to realize that he would never have dreamed of criticizing his lover while he had been alive…he would never have second guessed him. But now…he needed to be better than him… he needed to do what Heero hadn't been able to. 

Knee deep in printouts, Duo ran a hand through his bangs and glanced up at the clock. 

"Shit" It was already 6am…he badly needed caffeine … and a change of clothes… he hated jeans and the blue colour was far too merry for his mood anyway. Moving over to the kitchenette in the room he set the coffee machine to peculate. Opening the fridge he smiled in relief when he found an unopened carton of long life milk. ~Coffee without milk is like the sun without the moon, I swear~ He turned to the cupboard next to the kitchenette and knelt to the bottom shelf where he constantly kept a few changes of clothes, having to steady himself as a wave of dizziness swept over him. 

Taking a few moments he decided that he didn't really want to wear his uniform today…he really wasn't in the mood for that…so he picked out one of his customary priestly black ensembles and slowly walked into the bathroom to get changed. 

Re-emerging from the bathroom he felt a little refreshed. A splash in the face with some cold water and a change of clothes made had made him feel better… a lot better, and caffeine would seal the feeling. 

He poured himself a cup, and sat at the computer to type up a summary of what he had found and a plan of what he intended to do… with or without the help of his piers and superiors. If he had their consent and their help it would be easier, but Duo Maxwell didn't back away from a challenge…and this time would be no exception. 

He had an hour…Une would be in by 730 am at the latest, she always was. He would corner her then. 

#*# 

"Where the hell can he be Trowa?" Quatre was beside himself with worry. 

Trowa was at a loss with what to do to calm the smaller boy…and Wufei didn't seem to be much help as he just sat across from them at the breakfast table and scowled. 

"Maxwell is being a selfish baka… that is all… we should be used to this behaviour by now." The Chinese boy was not happy and that could be told by the disapproval in his voice. 

Trowa sighed…especially since he agreed with Wufei deep down…but also because he could see that Duo had pretty much lost it. As much as the American boy was always chatty and happy and cheery…the silent former pilot of Gundam Heavyarms… was more perceptive than others gave him credit for. He knew Duo had needed what Heero had given him. There was no other outlet for the braided boy… no one else who had gotten under his skin and to know his true personality. "We need to go into work…we can talk with Une then. She wanted us to keep her informed anyway." 

Glumly, Quatre nodded. "Yeah you're probably right… let's get going then." 

#*# 

Duo's eyes hit the clock as he printed out the last pages of his reports: 7.25am. It was a good thing that he could type fast…it had ended up being an analysis of almost 22 pages. He smirked to himself… no one could say he didn't work well when he put his mind to it. And this was important… more important than anything else ever had been to him. If these people could kill Heero…there was no telling what else they may be able to accomplish. 

Making his way out of his office and down the hall he set his face in the smirking grin he had worn for the majority of his life… No one could guess if no one could see past the mask. And it was a face he fully intended on carrying until he had completed his mission… he didn't have the time to give into self pity anymore… he had been stupid and selfish enough for long enough. Besides he would have plenty of time to wallow in self-misery later on. The finger of his free hand…his left hand… absently played with the ring on that ring finger as he made his way to Une's office, completely ignoring the surprise on the security's faces as they checked their lists…which said nothing about him being in the building. 

Reaching the door he rapped smartly on it and didn't wait for an "enter" from its occupant. If he had, it wouldn't have been Duo Maxwell now, would it? Smile set on his face, his braid having that life of its own that it always seemed to have, he bounced through the door, arms full of papers. 

"Morning Une…how are we today? Me personally… it's a great day to be alive… so much to do, so little time." He lowered himself smoothly into the seat in front of her desk and beamed a smile at her, setting the report he had written on her desk and tapping on it. "There are a few things you and I need to discuss, Lady." 

Lady Une had just been dealing with Trowa's report over the phone as the other 3 Gundam pilots made their way to work. She gulped as Duo came in and had to take a minute to adjust to the boy being there. "It's ok… he is here." She put down the phone and turned her full attention to the boy in front of her. He was pale, but somehow energized…it was obvious something was sustaining him but she couldn't be sure what. However she didn't look a gift horse in the mouth…they needed Duo…they had needed Duo since before Heero's incident… and they needed him at his peak. Hopefully he would be up to what they needed him to do… if he wasn't, then the risks they had taken had been for nothing. 

"Nice to see you Duo…" 

As usual the American chattered. "Yes it is rather isn't it?" He winked at her. "Now Une I know you don't habitually take appointments at 7.30 in the morning and hell knows that I would prefer to be asleep " Permanently, his mind added silently. " But there are things that need to be done and questions that you **are** going to answer for me…so I suggest we take this time right now… to go over a few things I am not happy with." 

Une blinked. She was sure this was Duo. He looked like Duo, he even almost sounded like Duo, except for that authoritative tone to his voice. His smile was there but for the first time ever…she couldn't see that it reached his eyes. They were lit by something else, and she was almost certain it was anger and hatred. She shivered…and was glad that she was fairly certain that that gaze was not meant for her. It seemed Duo was full of surprises she had never thought him capable of…they were going to have to be careful. 

Recovering fairly quickly, her examination of him did not escape the violet-eyed boys' notice and he laughed to himself. ~I will get what needs to be done done…no matter what.~ 

"So Duo… what are the questions you want to ask…and what are you not happy with." Her gaze was trying to be authoritative, but Duo was quite certain that she was somewhat uncertain about his appearance here. Good. 

"Well for a start…I need to know why you Okayed a mission where the information was not even at a standard that would usually allow for us to send in a group of our men, let alone one." He saw her start to speak and silenced her by talking over the top of her, not a hard feat for the young American. "Then I want to know why even after you had…" He looked at his notes…"4 other people trace over Heero's investigations and come up with the same answers, those being virtually none… why you still sent him out." He was controlling himself very well…his brain pushing back the pain he felt every time he uttered that name…there would be time for grief after all of this. Finger-tips twisting the rings around his fingers he continued. "And then I want to know how the hell these people seem to know every move we make…where we are…and who is coming. There is no way ordinary people would ever have gotten close to him. And there are other cases of our agents going down…all pointing towards this suspect group that you haven't even come up with a name for yet." He slowed…looking her directly in the eyes. "That's enough for a start… I want answers Une…and trust me… I will either know if you lie to me… or I will find out." And he said the whole thing with a happy go lucky smile on his face…but without a twinkle in his eye. Anyone who didn't know him well, and that was almost everyone…would have been fooled into thinking he was talking amiably…Une knew otherwise…the threat he made was not empty. 

She cleared her throat and was about to speak when Duo piped up again. 

"Oh yeah," He smiled. "By the way the infiltration security is fucked… I have never been able to get into a building so easily. Whoever was relieving me is pathetic and either needs to be retrained or fired. But I have a computer program working out some basics at the moment and it should be ready for you to look through in a few hours. A lot needs to change… reports need to be monitored…these leaks need to be stopped. Now I think you were going to say something…continue." He waved a hand…the other still playing with the ring on that one. Trying not to fidget, since he knew it would detract from his countenance he concentrated fully on her face, if she lied… he would know. 

Une shifted under that gaze. "Oh … thanks… I will look through the report straight away." She sighed a little…and pushed at the glasses sitting on her nose. Duo just waited. "We … we needed to bait them… and Heero offered. He was so certain that he wouldn't get hurt. I mean he is one of the best, if not the best…he was just supposed to be observing." She was skirting the truth and she knew that she was treading a thin line…but she hadn't actually lied. 

Duo frowned at her for two reasons… first of all, that Heero had been bait was something. He didn't like that. And secondly he knew that Une wasn't telling him everything, though he also knew that she had not been lying. But that was ok, he would find it all out in due time…and he planned on making it his priority in life to do so. 

He nodded and Une briefly looked at the hands he had folded under his chin…his thumbs obviously turning the rings on his fingers. Funny, she had never noticed him wearing any jewelry before. Looking closer she noticed the rings were identical…and she blanched as she remembered the box Heero had showed her that morning, before he was sent out. She took a deep breath. 

"The mission that he went on that day…was not the mission he woke up knowing he would go on Duo…he wasn't supposed to go on that mission for another week. But things happened and we needed him to." 

Duo didn't let anything register on his face, but inside he screamed. So Heero was supposed to be there for his birthday dinner and not leave him in mourning. He fought to maintain his smiling façade and he succeeded, pushing the misery he felt to the back of his mind again. 

"Do carry on Une…come on… don't keep me in suspense here." He grinned because he either had to grin or he was going to scream out loud. Screaming out loud right now was not going to further his cause in any way shape or form and he knew this. 

He wasn't going to stop…he wasn't going to turn into the usual Duo and bounce around and be unconcentrated. Une frowned again. He was determined to do something and she had no idea what it was. All she could do was hope that it fit into her carefully laid plans. 

"On that morning we received information. Information pertaining to the group we had as suspects. I know that sounds stupid considering we don't even have a name for them at the moment, but…" 

Duo interrupted. "Then you all suck more than I thought." He gestured to the report he had placed on the table. "Its in there… and took me all of four hours to find out last night…I am surprised he didn't think of it himself…he isn't usually that sloppy." She looked stunned, so he carried on giving her a little time to recover. " 'Geheimdienst.' That's what they call themselves. That's how they are known. Its German for Secret service or something very similar, probably allowing for cultural idiosyncrasies. They are known more widely as GHD. GHD is one of the self proclaimed `peace enforcers', that have emerged since the wars. You probably have only heard of them in a commercial sense, which is probably why connections weren't made." He shrugged. "Probably easier to find out now, since if you look in the right places they are laying claim to having killed the "perfect soldier". But it shouldn't have been that hard to find before if you looked properly." 

Mentally filing GHD in her mind, Une got over her shock. "Oh well…they were on our list of suspects. But as I was saying we heard word that they would be at a certain place at a certain time and so Heero went, to be the bait he had volunteered to be." Duo's already pale skin had paled more…but his eyes were still hard and his smile still on his face. 

And his mind was working over time. Something was missing… there was a missing piece…they had to know about Heero…in order to get to him they needed to know inside information. There was no way possible that he could have been killed otherwise…his skills had increased, not decreased…and there was no way that anything normal could have taken him out. His attention turned back to Une as she continued to speak. 

"As to how these people seem to know every move we make, Duo…how did you come to that conclusion?" She really seemed to be out of the loop, though Duo knew she wasn't stupid, he couldn't believe she could be that blind. 

He snorted. "You can't tell me that you believe the perfect soldier got taken out by a bunch of amateurs. They know us… if they didn't know us… or at least him, how could they feed information to us." He stood up, impatience taking over. "I do not have time for this, Une…" He leant over the desk, knuckles cracking on the hard wood as he brought his face close to hers and spoke softly… the smile completely gone leaving only the cold harsh pain and anger in his eyes. She blanched at his voice. "This is my case Une…I **will **catch them and if you don't give me the leeway I need to do this… I will do it anyway. You know I have money… you know I can get the equipment I need if you don't let me use the stuff that is here…and you know I can hack into any computer system ever made…at least as well, if not better, than Yuy. That is my job after all…I am **the** expert at infiltration. There is no system I cannot hack. I will find out who did this to him and then I will kill every last one of them…I do not care if you back me on this…but I warn you… do **not** get in my way." 

Une gulped. 

A noise caused him to turn around, and he saw his three friends standing in the doorway looking at him apprehensively; they had obviously heard what he had said. 

Smile plastered back in place he greeted them, completely ignoring the woman behind him who was trying to regain her composure. Not many people saw Duo the way Duo was without his mask. The only one who knew him was Heero… the only one who would ever know him was dead. 

"Hey Cat…T… Wu-man…" He winked at them. " Sorry if you were worried about me, but hey, you know me… can't keep me in an enclosed space for long. It was so boring in there I just had to get out…but it would have taken ages if I had to do the paperwork… I have enough of that to do at the moment as it is." He saw Sally emerge to stand behind his friends. "Hey there Po… how goes it?" A big grin plastered his face and Quatre recovered first. 

The young blonde smiled. "Nice to see you back to your old self, Duo…you back to stay?" 

Smiling, Duo looked at the smaller boy with genuine affection. Aside from Heero, Cat knew him best. "Yo… that I am. Oh yeah, hope you heard that Po." He winked and looked back at Une who had now recovered sufficiently. He tapped the report on her desk and his smile widened. "Might want to read through this Une…It's got all the basic information on that group I was talking about as well as the few "coincidences" of their involvement that I have found so far. Wasn't easy to do mind you…and I have plenty of copies where that came from." He took a breath… he hadn't talked this much in weeks and was getting a dry mouth from it…it didn't matter, he would get used to it again soon. 

"Oh and I'll need my guys… so I suggest you don't assign them to anything else." He turned back and started to leave the room, motioning his friends out in front of him speaking over her shoulder. "Oh and it was nice to have that little chat, must do it again some time…I know I wont forget it." 

#*# 

Sally frowned as the longhaired boy brushed past her…and turned to look at the director of the Preventers. She didn't think she had ever seen Une look that …deflated was the word. 

Entering the room, she closed the door behind her. "What happened Une?" 

"He… he is doing everything we needed him to do… he is pushing past the barriers he created so he wouldn't compete against Heero and letting his true potential out. It is… formidable." Une still looked shocked and worried. 

Sally shrugged. "If that's the case Une, isn't this all going to work out according to plan? I mean we need him… he is the only one with any hope of cracking this. If he doesn't get over the barriers he built we don't stand a chance against them." 

Une interrupted her, and Sally stopped short…worried by the tinge of panic she heard in the voice. "You don't get it, Sal. He is dangerous. That smiley face, that bouncy Duo we all know and love…he isn't the same… he is changed." 

"Of course he is, Une. He just lost the love of his life…but he'll get over it. I am-" 

"How can you be sure? It is his driving force now… it is all he wants to do… and he will kill anyone who gets in his way. That isn't just an idle threat… he means every word. I don't even think its safe to ask him to report…I am just going to have to hope he does it of his own free will." 

Sally raised an eyebrow…"Just what did he say Une…" 

"He just warned me not to get in his way… but the way he said it Sally… I don't like what we've unleashed." 

Looking thoughtful Sally sat on the edge of the desk. "Its ok…I am sure he just needs to get this out of his system." 

"I hope you are right Sally, I hope you are right… because if he ever finds out what we did to Heero, I think he is going to kill every one of us that was involved." 

Not letting on, Sally sat in silence…worried that Une was right… he would kill them if he found out. A thought struck her. "It's not a question of if, Une." Her voice was barely audible. "He doesn't have any limits anymore… he **will** find out." 

#*# 

Quatre chattered most of the way back to Duo's systems room, and Duo fixed a smile on his face as he watched the rainfall outside…trying not to think of things that the rain reminded him of. There was no time for that now. Reaching the room he activated their entrance with new codes he had programmed before he left. Glancing at the clock he realized he had been with Une for longer than anticipated. It was now almost 9.30am. Shrugging he pulled a chair up to one of his computers and ran his eyes over the completed diagnostic he had had the machine perform. With his left hand he leant over to the keyboard next to him and printed out the background information he had given to Une…three times. 

The others were waiting for him…as he also printed out the diagnostic of the security system weaknesses. He picked up a phone as the 34 page report finished and summoned one of the Preventer couriers to his room. 

Turning around he also picked up the now finished reports and began to divide them to give to his friends. Shuffling them in his hands he finally raised his eyes to his friends, ready to answer their questions. 

The look on all three faces asked him the same question. 

What are we doing? 

He smiled…almost genuinely. These guys were his chosen family…these were the people that, next to Heero, had always understood him the most…these were the other people he had to live for…at least for now. 

"Well I guess you're all wondering what it is we are going to be doing." 

"Damn right Maxwell." Wufei seemed to be the least impressed, while Trowa was simply being silent and stoic as usual…painfully it kind of reminded Duo of his deceased partner, but he pushed that thought away almost as soon as he had it. Quatre just looked at him, face expectant and full of trust. Duo was so glad to have them at that point in time. 

"Well you see… I have been going over a lot of information…all last night actually…and it seems there are a few…inexplicables that I don't like surrounding the death of 01." It was easier if he referred to him like that… the pain wasn't so great if he didn't actually say the name. "In these reports…" he continued to speak as he handed them out. " I have outlined the chief suspects and narrowed it down to one, including reasons; movements, motives and well you know… the general report stuff. It is a very preliminary report to say the least, but I needed to start somewhere. I need to get this researched in detail and I need the best people there are to do that…and apart from the fact that we are the best… I need to have my friends with me. No one else understands me as well as you guys do." He smiled a little at them. "Please read through them and form your own opinions… you may have fresh ideas that I haven't thought about. If you do please tell me… if there is another way I could have gone about something to gather more data then try it out and see how we go. If you don't want to help I do not hold it against you and you do have the choice…but I would appreciate any help you would be willing to give." He finished and looked at them expectantly. 

"Um Duo…" Quatre piped up. 

"Yeah?" 

"What exactly are we doing?" 

"Oh… how silly of me." He looked at his friends abashedly. But then his expression changed and that smile that didn't reach his eyes came forth once more. "We are going to find the sons of bitches who killed Heero, and tear them limb from limb while we pull down everything they have fought and killed to achieve." 

The cold smiles that hit the faces of his friends made Duo realize that he had the help he craved and sorely needed. 

~~**~~ 

**T**o Chapter Three 

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee sometimes I scare even me! 

~Arith 


	3. Appetite Lost

Disclaimer: I do ... in no way shape or form (sadly) own any of the Gundam Wing boys... only the story is my idea

Pairings: 1x2 3x4x5

Warnings: Lots of Duo, Duo and more of Duo... hurting, in pain, angry etc etc etc

~#~ = flashback 

#*# = scene change 

~and words in between~ indicates thought 

_Italics are song words_

Some Way Back : Appetite Lost 

The courier came and took the envelope Duo handed her to Une. Duo fidgeted as his friends read through his reports…he couldn't think of anything but the rain outside and his face took on a far away look as he idly ran his fingers over the rings and remembered. 

~#~ 

_On rainy days we go swimming out  
on rainy days, swimming in the sound  
On rainy days we go swimming out _

It was raining and Duo was looking out of their bedroom window, pouting, his hair out of its usual braid, since he rarely slept with it in one anymore…Heero seemed to enjoy wrapping himself in it and then working out the knots for him in the morning. The form in the bed on the other side of the room moved and grumbled…only coming awake when it realized there was no hair or warm body to burrow into next to him. 

Propping himself up on his elbows Heero scanned the room for his lover to find him kneeling on the love seat in the bay windows and pouting out at the rainy weather there. The only time he had ever been able to feel at ease with himself and…feelings… was with Duo. 

"Ne Baka? Its cool out… come back to bed and keep me warm." He almost melted when Duo turned those beautiful big violet eyes back on him. They were full of disappointment and he motioned to the weather outside the window. 

"But Hee-chan… it was **supposed** to be fine today…we were **supposed** to go to the beach…you promised…" 

Duo adored the beach and knew Heero knew this too. 

Heero smiled and left the bed to walk across to his lover…not minding in the least that his body was completely naked…and knowing that the only reason Duo didn't appear to be naked was that waterfall of hair covering him. Locking his arms around Duo's waist he molded his body against that of the boy in his arms…gasping as the long haired boy wiggled into the touch. Bending down he kissed the nape of Duo's neck, who in turn arched his neck a little giving Heero greater access. 

"How about a deal, my baka?" 

"Mmm …deal?" The longhaired boy's voice was already taking on a husky tone and Heero knew it would be an easy deal to strike. 

"Yeah… a deal…I get to ravish you now…right now…and you get to drag me off to the ocean…in the rain…like I know you want to…" All the while the dark haired boy was placing strategic kisses all along Duo's neckline…where he knew the boy was sensitive. He would win… but only because he knew Duo would let him. 

Duo grinned…"I agree…ravish me…" and he giggled as Heero picked him up in his arms and carried him back to the bed catching his mouth in a passionate kiss… 

~If only people could see him the way he is when we're alone…but he is mine… all mine…it took me ages to get him this way…~ But all thought fled his mind as his lover moved with slow and practiced ease down his body ... 

~#~ 

"Duo?" 

Duo started out of his daydream…immediately commanding his mask into place properly and hoping the things he had been feeling hadn't been showing on his face…which he knew to be over expressive. 

Quatre was looking at his friend curiously…a little confused. His empathic abilities allowed him to sense strong emotions…but there was nothing coming from his friend…which could only mean he had closed down on his feelings…tightened control so that nothing leaked out… or worse, that he had simply locked feelings away. The blonde boy was worried and that worry increased even more when Duo smiled that empty smile up at him. He only knew it was an empty smile because he knew the braided boy so well. He frowned at Duo. 

"You ok Duo?" 

"Yeah … of course I am Cat… you know me." He laughed and it even sounded fake to his own ears. "I was just thinking about some things is all." 

"Oh well… I finished reading the report…I have heard about this GHD…vaguely, probably because I haven't been paying much attention to affairs lately." The blond looked a little sheepish…"I can use my corporations contacts to look into it, if you like?" 

"That would be great, Cat… I need more information than I have but I am going to be busy following as many of the ghost trails as I can…its going to take me a while…but I can hack them…Don't have Heero to rely on anymore… gonna have to take some responsibility myself for once." This time the laugh was a little bitter and Wufei frowned at the long haired boy and walked over to stand next to him… vaguely noting that they were the same height…around 5'8", whereas Heero had hit 5'10" and Trowa was an easy 6 foot… Quatre had remained the smallest and barely grown at all since the war…measuring in at 5'5". His eyes on a level with the American he looked into them seriously, noting the lack of usual warmth replaced by sheer determination and will power. His usually low estimation of his comrade rose a few notches…the boy had more honour than Wufei had ever given him credit for…and it seemed he was not going to let the death of his mate go unpunished. 

"I'll look into the weapons supplies to them…their dealings on the black market." The Chinese boy's voice was as quiet as it always was, but Duo heard more respect in it than he had ever heard before and his eyes softened a little. 

Trowa stood and came over to join them. "There are a few things I could do…You've already covered their weapons supply and more detailed information on them and their connections and what they are about…We need information on their financial situation and their networking systems." 

Duo nodded. "I will be trying to trace the apparently untraceable back doors that have been hacked into our system. They seem to know our every move, at least lately… and that is not a good thing. I would call it a leak if I thought someone would actually do that who belonged to our organization…and maybe I am being too optimistic and am only wishing no one would do that. There are too many inconsistencies…ones you don't see at first…that could be a program error but for the fact that this system should not have those…not when you consider Heero and I wrote it." 

"You want to use this room Duo?" Quatre looked at him expectantly. 

"Yeah… we have everything that we should need at our disposal here." 

"Ok… If there is anything…specialized we need we can get it with or without the Preventers help…I still have a lot of connections." Quatre grinned at his friend wiggling his eyebrows in an attempt to get his friend to smile a little less fakely. It worked… to a certain extent, before Duo lost himself in a few thoughts and frowned slightly seeming to forget that his friends were in the room for a moment. 

He looked up before Quatre could try to read him and the smile slipped back into place. "Well then shall we get to work?" 

Quatre nodded but took Duo by the arm. "Yes we are going to get back to work…but first…we are going to go and have some lunch, Duo. You need to stop printing out reports with such small print…its already noon!" 

Duo smiled a thankful smile at his friend…"Yeah come to think of it…I am starving." 

Wufei rolled his eyes… "Why doesn't that surprise me…" 

Duo grinned at his friend. "Oh come on Wu-man…you should know me well enough by now to know I can always eat anything anywhere." 

Wufei just looked at him, groaned and followed the other three to the cafeteria. 

#*# 

The thing was, Duo didn't eat…and Quatre wasn't the only one who noticed. Oh sure the boy filled his tray, but all he did was pick at the food he had placed on it swirling it around and occasionally taking a mouthful. 

"Eat up Duo…you wont grow big and strong playing with your food." 

Duo grinned. "Guess I am not as hungry as I thought I was, ne?" If Duo closed his eyes he could almost believe everything was like it had always been…that everything had gone back to normal…but the grunts that Heero used as an excuse for conversation when in public were missing, as was that presence that he so dearly craved, and it was all Duo could do to stop himself from falling into that deep pit of despair that was a gaping wound in his heart. 

Quatre looked at his friend startled when he felt a wave of depression roll over him…but it was gone almost as quickly and he wondered if it had really been there. Duo opened his eyes and looked at Quatre, mouthing `I'm fine' to the smaller boy. 

"Well enough dilly dallying boys…lets get cracking." And the four of them made their way back up to the room…Duo never ceasing to play with the rings on his fingers. 

#*# 

While the former Gundam Pilots gathered in the cafeteria, Une, Sally and Zechs gathered in Une's office. 

"He is reacting instinctively." Sally was using her clinical tone of voice. "I am still trying to figure out whether that is a good or a bad thing…his…carefree attitude…seems to have been…I just don't know." She shrugged. 

"He is harder to read now…but is still always smiling. But it's not the old Duo…despite everything he actually seems to be serious now. I mean…he is still himself…but at the same time…" Une shrugged as well…"I just hope this won't backfire." 

Zechs moved restlessly. "Losing your life partner can crush you, make you do desperate things…or as it appears to be in Duo's case…make you want to find and kill whoever hurt them. But I do get the feeling he will utterly destroy them. Which has really been the main aim all along, hasn't it?" 

The women in the room nodded. 

"Well then… I will fulfill my part of the bargain, like I promised… I will be there if he needs me…to talk to…or whatever…and though I cannot guarantee that he will let me help him, it is the best I can do." 

#*# 

As the four remaining Gundam pilots approached the Duo's system room they noticed a man leaning against the door, waiting for them. 

Duo frowned as they reached the door. "What do you want, Zechs?" Although Zechs was technically just under the director in authority of the Preventers, Duo had never accorded him the respect that he was due, probably mainly because of the roles Zechs had had in the war. Besides Duo never actually accorded anyone else other than his friends respect…in his eyes, no one else had earned it. 

Zechs sighed…this was not going to be easy. "I came to see if you could use any help." Duo looked at him skeptically…and then shrugged. "Sure…I guess…" He opened the door motioning the others to follow him inside the room. Once there he picked up a printed list and handed it to Zechs. 

"This is a list of all of the last missions Heero went on or was supposed to go on. I need his reports on all of them, and I know he files reports even when he doesn't go on one of them for any reason. I also need the mission information files, the names of who worked on gathering the information and their personal files. If you do not get this information for me I will hack it myself…it might waste a few hours of my day…but I can always sleep less. If you really want to help this is a start." 

Zechs nodded once, accepted the list and left the room. 

Duo let out a sigh. "I don't know if I should trust him…" It was almost mumbled under his breath. His friends had seated themselves, each at one of the computers in the room. 

"Um, Duo?" Quatre was getting sick of being the one to ask all the questions but he guessed someone had to do it. 

Duo looked at him and raised an eyebrow. 

"Um… password would probably help." 

Duo laughed…a proper laugh. "Sheesh… you guys have known me for what… four years? And you don't know what my password would be?" 

"Shinigami?" Wufei thought it was too obvious…and he was right… Duo shook his head. 

"Nope…try again." 

"Well you wouldn't be silly enough to use Deathscythe…" Trowa was pondering…Duo couldn't believe they didn't know it… Heero would have had it in an instant. 

He sighed dramatically. "Come on… it's my catchphrase guys… and only you guys have ever been around me enough to know it." 

A smile dawned on Quatre's face and he typed in a password and was rewarded with access. Turning around he smiled at his friend and lovers. "I run, I hide, but I never lie." 

Duo clapped his hands. "Bingo, Q man!!" And he sat himself in front of his two main systems. "Now shall we get to work gentlemen?" 

The boys each faced the screens in front of them. Duo had a hand on each keyboard, fingers flying; eyes flicking back and forth between screens, he became immersed in the world he was searching through…braid bobbing as he moved. 

Quatre observed his friend from time to time. He had never seen Duo work like this before…he had never known he was capable of it. Oh of course he had known Duo wasn't as stupid as he made himself out to be, there was no way he could have piloted Deathscythe if that were the case. But this was amazing…he had never even seen Heero work that fast. He frowned as he watched the violet-eyed boy. Duo was changed, was pushing himself…although he could still be that easy going happy chatty boy the world knew, and would probably continue to be so to the outside world…the young blonde somehow knew that the Duo he was seeing now…was the Duo that the MS pilots saw before the Scythe cut down through them. His heart was gone…torn out of his chest when Heero's was…and although Quatre couldn't feel the pain, he knew that Duo was focusing so intently on his self imposed mission for a reason. If he didn't he was going to tip himself over the edge…the Duo he was seeing now was a silent cry for help, a silent question of why. He would have to keep an eye on his friend…he didn't want to get so close to losing yet another of his friends. 

Duo lost himself in the screens…letting himself go like he had been taught to all those years ago…but like he had rarely ever done since. It was almost like being possessed by the ZERO system. You felt more than saw the virtual world in front of your eyes. Every little detail could imprint itself on your mind…every slight variation remembered to be gone back over later. All he could see was what he had seen that morning…but there was something there…something he wasn't quite touching on even though he had already delved down about 6 layers. It looked like he was going to have to go deeper and he was just about to prepare himself to do so when he heard the door open. He turned in surprise, as he hadn't even heard the knock. Glancing at the clock he realized it had already hit 6 pm and he was no further to solving his problem than he had been. Apart from knowing that he had to go deeper he really hadn't accomplished anything except for clearing the other layers of needing investigation. Whoever or whatever was doing this…was damn good at hiding their tracks. 

He looked up to see Zechs walk in, arms full of files and disks. A little taken aback the braided boy stood up and smiled cheekily. "Gee thanks Zechs… prompt and efficient work, I see…" His eyes scanned the reports and he placed them next to his computer glancing at the disks. He turned back to Zechs. "You still want to help?" 

Zechs just nodded. 

"Fine." Duo flashed a grin, which then remained plastered to his face. "How are you with computers." Duo almost laughed at the offended expression on the tall man's face. "Sorry sorry… stupid question, ne?" Duo took a breath. "Then come back here tomorrow at 0800 and start going through these disks for me. I need any inconsistencies you can find, anything out of the ordinary …really anything at all, even if you don't think it could be important, I need to see it…let me be the judge of what is important and what isn't." Braid swinging behind him Duo turned to look at the array of computers in the room…His two mainframes and 5 supported Computers. He frowned thinking…and turned back to Zechs. "I need a tracer…at least one…probably two…and another two computers…hmmm make it three…make them good ones. If I need to run diagnostics on programs or conduct searches on programs…I don't want to take one of the working computers out of action." 

Zechs nodded…realizing that this Duo was amazingly different…and now understanding why such a complex man as Heero Yuy had loved the longhaired boy so much. Never a man of many words Zechs didn't say much then either. "I will see you all in the morning then…But I will obtain the computers before I leave tonight…will you still be here?" 

Duo laughed… "I won't be leaving at any time in the near future." Zechs just nodded. 

"Very well…till then." He left the room. 

Duo turned to see Wufei's eyes boring into him. 

"Maxwell…you are coming home and you are eating with us." 

Duo laughed. "No Wu-man…as a matter of fact, I am not. I am staying here…I have a pull out bed, a bath and a kitchenette." 

Quatre suddenly understood. If Duo went back to the house he would be torn down yet again. All the resolve he had managed to find would crumble as soon as he smelt anything of Heero's or saw anything…or was reminded of too much. 

Trowa was frowning. "Duo … I really don't think that is such a good idea…I mean…" 

But he was cut off by his smaller lover. 

"Its ok, Duo… they're just being over protective. Anything you want me to bring you?" 

Duo smiled at the blonde gratefully. "Yeah…some more clothes and well…my pillow hehe I love that pillow…" A shadow passed over his face, leaving the pain bare for a minute. "Actually on second thoughts…just the clothes will do ok?" 

Quatre nodded…"You sure you want us to go right now?" 

"Yeah…you guys have done enough for now as it is…besides tomorrow is going to be a long day… and the one after that…and after that…" He laughed without feeling it. He knew it was going to take him more than a few days to work this all out. 

Wishing his friends goodbye he closed the door behind them and leant against it, finally letting some of the exhaustion he felt wash over him. Gingerly he pushed himself away from the door and walked back to his computer…knowing it would take Zechs a couple of hours to get all the computers together. 

Immersing himself in the screens once again he let himself go. The seventh layer was bringing him closer to an answer, but it had taken a long time to get into…so many hidden paths in that layer it wasn't funny. He frowned as he saw it again…fleetingly…almost transparent…he frowned…finally able to discern a little more identity from it…but still…he had know idea what it was. Was it a worm, an infiltration program…what exactly did it do…or what was it supposed to do. Maybe it was meant to distract someone looking so deep. His eyes lit up as he realized this was very possibly the case. With something trying so hard **not** to be obvious…as if someone was trying to hide it…there could very well be something that was more obvious being overlooked. 

A very loud knock startled him out of his concentration. As he stood up to open the door his eyes fell on the clock again… ~Shit 10pm already~ 

It was Zechs with the computers, as Duo had known it would be. 

Zechs didn't have a clue what he could say to the boy. ~If he was just being his old self I could manage it. If he hadn't erected that wall I would have no problem breaking through to him…but like this…its almost impossible…there has to be a way, a promise is a promise~ 

Deep in thought Zechs hadn't realized that he had pushed his long sleeves up a little, revealing the twin scars on his wrists. He stopped as he noticed Duo was no longer moving…and was instead staring at him. 

Abashed Zechs looked away, for the life of him not understanding why Duo looked at him like that. 

"This is what you meant when you said you understood me?" That usually obnoxious voice was soft and gentle. 

Zechs blushed as he realized why Duo had been looking at him…he was embarrassed. "Yeah…" He shrugged. Duo caught his hands and looked at Zechs…feeling a bit of trust growing to the man. The ex OZ member had been reaching out to help him because of a similar experience and Duo had knocked him down for it…had thrown it back in his face…and despite that Zechs had persisted. 

"Sorry, Zechs." Sorry was the last thing that Zechs had expected to hear from Duo and he looked up into those violet eyes to see them bared and reflecting more pain than he had ever thought possible for the human soul to hold in it. ~What have we done to him~ Zechs couldn't believe what they had done…that they had caused this man so much pain and he was still going to help them…as if he had walked into a trap set just for him. He hoped that with time Duo would forgive them all…though he seriously doubted it. 

"No, Duo… I am sorry… more sorry than you could ever know. But if you need me…I am here to help…even just to talk to." 

A rare, sincere smile spread across Duo's pained face. "I know that now, Zechs…" he turned around and looked at the computers speaking softly. "I am sorry I doubted your sincerity before." Because he was looking at the computers Duo missed Zechs flinching at his words. "Come on … lets get to work." The exaggerated obnoxious tone had reentered Duo's voice. Zechs heaved a sigh of relief and set to helping the younger boy with the set up of the room…constantly amazed by the amount of energy that he displayed. 

The hooking up of the computers into his mainframe was finished by midnight and Duo actually had to admit that he was exhausted by the time he pushed Zechs out of the door telling him to get some sleep or else he would be useless the next day. 

Having been awake for more than 24 hours probably didn't help Duo's energy levels any. So he opted for a shower before curling up in bed. 

Letting water fall over his body seemed to soothe him… and it took all the energy that he had left to push out the dark and depressing thoughts that were trying to engulf his mind. Cleaned and not caring that his thigh length hair was only towel dried and uncombed he climbed into bed and curled himself around the blankets. Before he fell asleep he allowed himself one indulgence. He imagined Heero wrapping his arms around his body and holding him tight. As a tear escaped his eyes he swore. "I will find those bastards and destroy them Heero… for making you break your promise." 

Unbeknown to Duo, someone was paying a lot of attention to him…and watched as he drifted into a fitful sleep. 

~~**~~ 

To chapter Four 

Reviews appreciated…I enjoy improving on flaws…and I know my grammar and spelling are atrocious, but I honestly tried really hard to edit it before I posted it…Just no outright flames please 

Very slight modifications were made to this chapter due to rating issues hehe

Archived: Here

www.goldenyaoihuggle.com - my site!

www.mediaminer.org/fanfic/ under Arithkenshin

  
~Arith   



	4. Mirror Mirror

Disclaimer: I do ... in no way shape or form (sadly) own any of the Gundam Wing boys... only the story is my idea

Pairings: 1x2 3x4x5

Warnings: Lots of Duo, Duo and more of Duo... hurting, in pain, angry etc etc etc

~#~ = flashback 

#*# = scene change 

~and words in between~ indicates thought 

~~**~~ = end of chapter 

**Some Way Back : Mirror Mirror**

Duo slept fitfully and woke, not quite as refreshed as he would have liked, at about 6:30 in the morning. He groaned as he realized he was going to have to force the comb through his hair himself, as he had no one who took delightful pleasure in doing it for him. Grumbling, still in his boxers and one of Heero's tank tops which made up his usual sleeping attire, he cleaned his teeth and made coffee, sitting himself down in front of his main frame…searching through the disks to find the ones meticulously marked with Heero's all too familiar handwriting. He popped one into his machine and made it begin a run through of the information gathering Heero had performed on his last 25 missions. He was determined to go through all of Heero's things personally…the others could take care of research conducted by other people. He read through the files as he brushed his hair, something that would take him at least an hour, because it had been neglected so much lately. Heero would never have let him neglect it like that… Heero had loved his hair. 

A knock on the door at about 7:30 startled him. As he approached the door cautiously, forgetting the brush in his hand, he peered through the one way black glass on the doors. He was surprised that everyone was there… and he meant everyone. Une, Sally, Zechs, Quatre, Wufei and Trowa. Forgetting that he was in his sleeping attire he opened the door to let them in…not understanding the blushes he saw pass over **all** of their faces…until he felt the cool air of the corridor on his bare legs. Refusing to let it phase him he motioned for them to enter the room and sat himself at his desk, placing the hairbrush down and picking his coffee mug back up. 

Waving to the kitchenette he spoke. "Help yourself… I made plenty of coffee." 

Une was staring at him…she couldn't believe that hair… it was…almost knee length…three quarters of the way down his thighs. She imagined herself running her fingers through it and immediately turned a bright red. 

Duo wasn't used to silence…but he had never been a morning person so he also wasn't used to continually babbling in the morning either. He thought he would give them a few more minutes to adjust as well… Zechs seemed to be very busy going about making sure that everyone had coffee and Quatre had gone to help him. Wufei, Sally and Trowa were doing anything they could not to look at him and Duo could not figure out what the hell was wrong with them all. He knew his boxer shorts weren't revealing…and he knew he had a good body. 

Leaning forward he buried his head in his hands, causing his hair to cascade around him almost creating his own cave…he didn't need this. From beneath his hair he spoke. "Ok guys… why the silent treatment…you all know I am not a morning person…you can't expect me to be the life of the party after 6 hours of fitful sleep, you know… I mean, gods, give me till 8 in the morning at least… I need my beauty sleep." 

He looked back up at them… Quatre was the only one actually smiling…the others were **still **trying their best not to actually look at him. 

Duo was about to get angry when Quatre broke the silence. 

"You can be so dense sometimes, Duo." 

Duo looked at him blankly. "Wha?" 

"This is the first time **any** of us have seen you with your hair out **and** out of customary clothing. You're not exactly ugly if I might add…and your hair is rather…amazing…" The blond was actually blushing. 

Duo looked at them all in disbelief. "Its just hair…" 

"That isn't **just** hair Duo…" Sally reached out as if to touch it and Duo flinched back…she watched his face close over and she dropped her hand. "It's like a waterfall." 

Duo grinned without mirth. "Yes, and it's a waterfall you can look at. The only person I have ever let touch it and live to remember the feeling besides me… is dead now anyway, so that is moot point." He got up and turned his back on them walking over to his cupboard and getting out a more `decent outfit'. 

"Since I am obviously too much for you all to resist dressed this way…I am going to get changed." He smirked his usual mischievous grin and entered the bathroom. 

The room breathed easier as the women smoothed their clothes and the three ex-Gundam pilots shook their legs a little. 

Zechs broke the silence. "I would never have thought his hair was like that… I mean… the braid hides the quality of it so well." 

All the others could do was nod in agreement. 

#*# 

Closing the bathroom door behind him Duo leant against the sink…his breath coming harshly. The wound he had caused on his left arm throbbed and his head felt hot and heavy, swimming with memories that he needed to control. He looked at himself in the mirror…hating himself again…for all his inadequacies, for all his inability to cut his hair and be rid of the memories it brought him. It was his weakness…he was weak…he didn't deserve to be loved, let alone to have been loved by Heero. Forgetting the people outside he couldn't help but give into the memories tugging at him. 

~#~ 

The sharp tug on his braid stopped the boy in the streets from running away. He held still very carefully, hoping that they weren't going to kill him…but when he saw the men lower their pants…his wish changed very quickly. 

Years later the boy had turned into a gawky adolescent … trained in hand to hand combat and looking years younger than he was. Someone tugged at his braid … and they didn't live long enough to know what hit them as Shinigami used deadly accuracy. 

Heero wrapping that braid around his hand as they looked into each others eyes, just holding each other. 

Heero brushing his hair with loving tender strokes…the night before he had…he had… 

~#~ 

The crash of the mirror as he smashed his hand into it so he didn't have to see his face anymore, brought him out of the memories. Panting hard he pulled himself together, wincing at the fist of his right hand…slivers of glass making it look like blood rain had fallen on him. ~Enough self pity Maxwell… you do not have time for this~ 

He heard Quatre's voice through the door. "Um Duo? Are you ok in there?" The panic in his voice was evident and the longhaired boy chided himself for making his friend worry so much. 

Pulling himself together and forcing cheerfulness into his voice Duo spoke back…portraying his usual chatty self. "Yeah, of course I'm ok, Cat…I'll be out soon, you know me …as vain as they come… have to look just right for all of you, you know?" 

A sigh of relief came through the door and Duo relaxed…refusing to look at the glass splinters surrounding, him he pulled his clothes on, knowing someone would clean the mess up if he emailed them and gave them temporary access. 

When he re-entered the room he found everyone concentrating on a computer screen and he frowned a little before letting his habitual mask slip into place. There were now nine computers, his two main frames and two trackers…so there were enough computers to accommodate everyone, but he really wanted to know what the hell Sally and Une were doing there. So, being Duo Maxwell, he asked. 

"So Miss Po, Lady Une…to what do I owe the amazing honour of your presence in my humble systems room? I understand Zechs's reasoning for being here and have as such accepted it, but why…are you both here?" His voice was cheerful, happy, just the way they were used to hearing, but his eyes spoke volumes…his face had always reflected every emotion easily, but the Duo that emerged after losing Heero was different. It made the other's wary.  
"We came to see if we could help you with anything." Une looked calm and collected, but even her face flinched at the longhaired boys next words. 

First of all, he laughed…and the laugh was empty, hollow. Raising an eyebrow he smirked his usual Duo smirk. "Gee, thanks, Lady Une…but I think you overestimate your capabilities and that they could be of any use to me. You've never used a ZERO system…you wouldn't have the first idea how to immerse yourself into a system and feel it…so, if you two don't mind, I think we'd really be better off without you." The grin never left his face, his bantering never skipped a beat and his eyes spoke volumes. Gracefully, he crossed to his chair settling himself and swinging his long legs up onto the desk never ceasing his endless chatter. "Of course, I could do with more coffee and milk, and a heap of printer paper…oh and Zechs didn't bring any extra printers yesterday so we could probably do with another four of those. Oh and if you really want to help, could you have some lunch brought up to us… I am sure I will forget otherwise." He smiled his most disarming smile and waited. 

Sally glared and the tension in the room grew. Surprisingly, Une placed a hand on Sally's arm and spoke. "No need to be so sarcastic Duo…it's unbecoming in you." Duo just continued to grin. "Fine…I see you don't need us…I'll send you the things you require." The women got up and left the room. Duo watched them go, still smiling and then turned to face his screens. 

Quatre was puzzled. "Duo…you didn't need to be that hard on them, you know." 

Duo's shoulders tightened and he swiveled his chair and turned to face him again, head down, hands resting idly in his lap, fiddling with the rings on his fingers. Suddenly he looked vulnerable, afraid, and alone, and Quatre regretted doubting his friend. Those shining passionate violet orbs looked up at him and even without empathy Quatre could feel the pain inside his friend…the turbulence…the anger. 

"I need people I can **trust,** Quatre." 

"But surely you can…" The blond boy was cut off sharply before he could finish. 

"They killed him Cat, they sent my life to his death. They killed him. I will not forgive them." Smile gone, Duo's face was stern and cold. 

Quatre tried to reason with him. "Heero volunteered for the mission Duo…they didn't kill him." 

Duo looked at Cat for what seemed an age and spoke barely audibly before turning to face his screens yet again. "I know he did…my trust in him was misplaced…and now I can't forgive him either." 

In the shocked silence all that could be heard was Duo hammering away at two keyboards immersing himself in the systems, escaping the reality around him. 

Quatre was worried about him…really worried. The blond boy frowned and kept forgetting to concentrate on what he was supposed to be doing, when suddenly Wufei was standing over him, face unreadable. 

Once certain he had his smaller lover's attention, Wufei's voice was gruff, lowered to a tone so as not to disrupt Duo's obvious concentration. "You aren't doing any of us any good, or being of any help at the moment Winner. You need to close off those emotion sensors of yours and concentrate on the task at hand." 

Quatre blushed and realized that he had probably been staring at Duo's back with a frown on his face. He shut his barriers down and stopped trying to read his complicated longhaired friend. "Sorry." He smiled up at Wufei. "Couldn't help it…you know me." Wufei claimed his rose bud lips in a chaste kiss. 

"Yes…I do…" And he simply walked back and sat down at his screen…getting on with his mission. 

Duo didn't hear the altercation between his friends. His eyes were scanning for that loop…It was in every file, it was in every single file of every single mission that Heero had been on for the past six months. Although Duo hadn't had a chance to check further back, he was fairly certain that it would be the same whenever he looked. He frowned and turned suddenly…startling the others. "Wufei…unlock your files for me and send them to my terminal." 

Wufei's face blanched at Duo's commanding tone and his face took on a stubborn set. "Define my files." 

"Your mission files and research from the past 6 months…I need to corroborate something." 

For a moment Wufei hesitated, and then nodded. It didn't take long before the task was done, and the Chinese boy knew better than to turn around and ask Duo what the hell was going on at that point in time. He would get more sense out of the braided baka once the boy had completed his objective. It was only honourable to Wufei, that he would get his explanation then. 

Focusing…Duo dived into the files of his friends and their missions. Wufei was the only one he had needed to ask permission from…he could have hacked it easily but Wufei would be offended and he needed his friends on his side right then. Frowning again he swore as he found what he was looking for, it was too easy…so easy he almost hadn't seen it. His comrades stopped what they were doing and looked at him, but he was oblivious to their reactions. 

That damn pattern was laced through every single file. All of their missions, as if it was watching them. It hadn't taken a genius to write it…but how the fuck did it get into the system. Gritting his teeth he tried another variance and sat back a little stunned. "Hmmm" Again he looked at the information that was on one of the screens. Entering the pattern he was looking for into the other screen he sent it to the terminal Zechs was using. 

"Zechs, incoming." Duo barely even paused before giving directions. "Search for that pattern, take a couple of random Preventer officers and see if that pattern is evident in their files." Duo knew that Zechs would have the relevant codes to access those files. 

Zechs just nodded, which was not seen by Duo, but the braided boy did not doubt that his orders would be carried out. He just continued to sit and stare at the screen…absently chewing on the end of his braid. 

Quatre stood and walked over to look over his friends shoulder. "What have you found Duo?" 

Duo pointed to the screen…and Quatre bent over and looked…gasped a little, stood up and went pale. "What the…" Duo held up his hand motioning for the smaller boy to keep silent a little. 

"Is it there, Zechs?" 

"No…have scanned 6 files for it…what is it?" 

Duo swiveled to face his friends. "It is in all five of our files…" He stressed the word five. The faces of the others were surprised and wary. 

"And just what is it Maxwell." Wufei wasn't feeling very patient. 

"It…is as far as I can tell…a tracking pattern. Made to look like a glitch in the system that can't be helped. The thing is…its only the two weeks before he…before the incident," Duo only just managed to catch himself in time. "That the pattern entered the system. I don't know why it didn't trigger alarms…but it entered and knew about missions, after entrance and before they were carried out; as well as being able to draw out all the information of missions past. The only fucking files they didn't manage to get into are mine…my private mission details, my quasi mission journal details. Because I protect mine more than any of you…even Mr Fucking Perfect, who should have known better." His voice held anger tinged with resentment and he took a few deep breaths, making sure he had more control over himself. "Of course, it is only centered on ex-Gundam pilot files. And that, my dear friends…" He concluded with his usual bantering flare because if he didn't, he was going to scream…and he wasn't going to stop once he started. "is the reason why they knew where he would be and when he would be there, because as meticulous as Mr Perfect is, he documented everything in his personal files so he would have every minute detail recorded for later. Because he couldn't let up on his **training**, he fucking got himself killed. Perfect really, don't you think?" The smile on his face was typical Duo…but the eyes in his face were slowly losing their sanity. 

He couldn't stand the silence…he needed there to be noise, preferable someone dying and writhing beneath his hands. Duo looked down at his hands, fidgeting with the rings and not quite seeing what was in front of him. In a detached obnoxious voice he broke the silence and continued to ramble. 

"Of course the pattern should have been detected. Who ever was performing the routine maintenance was lax, or else is not qualified for the job. I noticed the pattern yesterday…and investigated it further, trying to find what it was. For anyone with even half the knowledge I have, it should have been a piece of cake…but then I guess you all know me…I know everything." He stopped, he just couldn't speak anymore. 

Almost wearily he continued. "Zechs, stop what you're doing and trace …on second thoughts…I'll do that…don't worry." 

A hand laid on his shoulder and beautiful blue green eyes looked into his. "Duo, its passed midday, food should be here soon…you need sustenance first." 

"No, Quatre…I need closure…so my meaningless existence can come to the end you wouldn't let it have." 

Knowing he had injured his friend, Duo turned away from those eyes and started back into those screens, knowing he didn't have time to be weak. Concentrating, Duo began the trace that seemed to be impossible. 

The others continued silently, gathering the information they had set out to get, until there was a knock at the door to deliver them lunch and the supplies that Duo had requested. 

The others moved over to the conference table in the large room and began chatting over the food on the table. Duo didn't hear them…he was too lost in what he was doing. Quatre was about to walk over to him when the tall green eyed boy put his hand on the smaller boy's shoulder. "Let me, Cat…" a little surprised, Quatre looked up and simply nodded. Trowa squeezed his lover's shoulder and walked over to where Duo was deep in concentration. The tall boy leant on the desk and folded his arms, looking down at his friend through the long bangs that always covered one of his eyes. Slowly Duo became aware of a presence next to him and he looked up from his works irritably, hands poised over the keyboards. 

"You know, Duo…I was never the technological expert you all were…" The usually silent boy was affecting a drawl. "But I am pretty sure if I were to turn off these here screens you would have to stop what you are doing…" Seeing the look of stubbornness in those violet eyes, Trowa pushed away his usual penchant for silence and carried on, over the top of whatever retort Duo had been going to utter. "Of course I could push the button on that there big `ol box and see what that does." 

Duo's face at first registered shock until he realized that the corners of Trowa's mouth were trying really hard not to smile. Suddenly the irritation fell away and he slightly regretted his words of before. He grinned and spoke only half seriously. "Touch that button, Trowa, and I may have to kill you." He winked and stood…stretching his hands high above his head and sauntered over to the table. Trowa watched the braid swing jauntily and frowned at himself. He would never understand that boy, not in the past four years…and not in the next million, but it didn't make him any less a good friend. 

Duo reached out a hand to grab a bread roll and some roast chicken and reached out his left, injured arm and ruffled Quatre's hair. The blond haired boy looked up at his chestnut haired friend and grinned that open honest grin that everyone loved him for. 

"Sorry Cat…guess after sharing your life with someone for four years, you're bound to pick up a few of their bastardly traits." He grinned and started on his second roll. 

Duo really put in an effort around that table…trying to talk to each of his friends, trying to make them understand that he was really appreciative of their efforts and very grateful as well. It relaxed them all, Duo's never ending banter…his cheerful ways…that winning personality that won him acceptance no matter where he went. And everyone took it at face value…Duo knew that and reveled in its security. 

"Shit!" Quatre startled all of them by swearing, considering the aristocratic young man usually never swore. He pushed past the hand of his lovers that were resting idly on each side of his waste and jumped onto the chair at his computer. Typing away furiously he shook his head so the others wouldn't interrupt him while he had an idea. Duo settled himself behind his young friend…hands on his hips, probably not realizing how tantalizing that made his well-toned body look. One person in the room certainly noticed and blushed a little. Cocking his head to one side, Duo picked at the end of his braid rubbing it over the rings in his hands, subconsciously trying to give himself some reassurance. Suddenly it clicked in his head as he realized what Quatre was doing and he smiled…probably the first fully sincere smiled he had smiled since the morning of his 19th birthday. 

"Done!" The accomplishment shone from Quatre's face as he looked back at Duo, who was absently clapping him on the back as he looked at the information on the screen and frowned…thinking deeply. A little perturbed, Quatre looked back and blanched at the information he saw on the screen. The program wasn't even all that sophisticated, it hadn't been all that well hidden and all that could only lead to once conclusion. An insider had put it there, and that insider would have to have access to maintenance because there was no way in hell that it should not have been detected. 

Cursing, Duo moved and sat himself at his station. Flexing his fingers once and cracking his knuckles he set at it from two different perspectives…achieving what Quatre had achieved in a matter of seconds on one screen, then switching both hands to the other screen to delve in deeper and read the file that had so easily been inserted into the Preventer Computer Database. He frowned…and traced it again, he turned it inside out and upside down and back the front again. He didn't even need to use the tracing machines for this one. Then he laughed…gods he felt like an idiot. "You know, guys." He was relaxed now, this was a walk in the park for someone with his skills…but it was just that which had stopped him from seeing the possibility for so long. Instead of trying to find a way into it through all possible secret entrances, he simply needed to click and open the file. "Sometimes, my own intelligence scares me." Grinning impishly he opened the file. Warning bleeps sounded from his mainframe but Duo didn't panic. His system was protected by virus repelling programs he had developed himself, and he knew nothing could get past them, besides, he had expected something like that. He just continued working as his system picked apart and annihilated the offending `bug'. 

"Done!" His voice had turned icy. "Gentlemen, meet the men I am about to go and give a new eye." He turned the screen so everyone could see. Three Preventers ID cards popped up on the screen. All three had systems maintenance clearance…all three had the capabilities to detect such a bug and it was obvious to everyone in the room that they weren't incompetent. Of course, there was the question of why the hell would you insert a bug like that into a system where the people you were setting it on were amongst the greatest hackers in the world…recognized and non-recognized. It left only one more explanation; why, and all three were on shift together for the next hour. With everyone's faces secured on the monitor taking in all the information, no one realized straight away that Duo had left the room. 

"Shit!" This time, Wufei had startled everyone by swearing. "Maxwell is about to be an idiot." He set out after the braided boy towards the systems analyst's rooms, followed closely by Trowa and Quatre. Zechs sighed and called through to Une and Sally leaving a brief summary with them consisting of something like. "Have lead…three system analysts…here now…taking into custody unless Duo beats us to it." 

The other four arrived at the office barely a minute after Duo. Arriving there they saw the black clad man standing over three bodies, while people cowered in the offices behind him. He grinned up at their worried faces…exhilaration showing in his eyes…as if the adrenalin rush had done him good. 

"You know… you would think that people would stop trying to flee Shinigami…I am going to get them whether they like it or not." He winked at his friends…and then paused..."What?" 

Wufei bent to take the pulse of the one nearest him and found it…the man was just unconscious. "Hmm" 

Duo chuckled. "Oh come off it guys, I wasn't going to kill them." Their doubtful faces looked at him and he grinned maniacally at them grasping his braid in his hand and pulling it over his shoulder. 

Grin still set in place he continued. "I mean… I need them to kill the big wigs…they're just small fry and we need to interrogate them. Besides…" his voice grew colder, dispassionate…"I can kill them for mild amusement when all my real fun is gone." 

"Enough, Duo." Lady Une's voice cut across the slightly awkward silence. She ignored the fact that his eyes glinted dangerously. Directing the guards that had come with them to search the men and remove them to the cells near the interrogation room, she turned to Duo. His eyes were closed off again… as if he hadn't been close to the edge a few moments before. "Well done…I am very surprised none of them had a snapped neck." 

Duo grinned and even though it seemed amicable, it made her blood freeze. "Yeah, well, boss…" The word held no ounce of respect…but that in itself was typical Duo…" I have a rather large rip in one arm…even I have trouble snapping someone's neck with one hand." No one thought it necessary to point out that Duo could, and had indeed, snapped necks with a kick before. 

He smirked at the group and walked back to the room. He glanced at the clock again as he entered, annoyed that he had left his watch in the hospital, but that couldn't be helped now. It was later in the afternoon than he had expected, and suddenly he just wanted to be alone. As the others filed into the room, he looked at each of them. 

"Guys…memorize this. Room code Alpha 8 2 gamma B 5…Password… traitor of mine, held inside." He refused to explain himself and acknowledge the mild curiosity on the faces of his comrades. 

"Go home…we've all had enough today… and to be honest, I am tired." He knew it was only around five o'clock but he just needed to be alone…needed to be left alone, to sleep, to shower…to just think. 

Wufei stalled Quatre who seemed about to protest. "Same time tomorrow, Maxwell?" 

Flashing a grateful smile at the Chinese boy Duo nodded. "Yeah…someone bring some chocolate, and some biscuits and oh hell get me a hamburger." 

"For Breakfast Duo?" Quatre seemed a little shocked. "You still have atrocious eating habits." 

"Yeah I doCat…but you still love me" He winked at his friend as he ushered them out of the door. 

Quatre was frowning, as if he wanted to go back in and see his friend but Trowa rested an hand on the blond's arm. "Leave it, Cat…he is using up a lot of energy at the moment just thinking…" 

Quatre looked up into green eyes in surprise at his usually stoic lover's extent of perception. "Oh…yeah I guess he would be." 

As the three ex-Gundam pilots walked away, Zechs watched them thoughtfully. Duo needed a distraction, he needed to focus on something other than what he was trying to get done. Frowning in thought, Zechs walked back to his own office to go through some files there. 

Leaning against the door, Duo took deep, shuddering breaths. The others just had no idea how close he had come to snapping the necks of those traitorous fucks with a kick to just the right spot. But he hadn't…the big fish was what he was after…and he would catch it. 

He sighed and slowed himself down. Pushing himself away from the door he made his way into the bathroom. Getting a towel and laying it ready he looked in the newly replaced mirror, frowning at Preventer staff efficiency as he started to remove his clothes. Clinically he looked at his body. His pecks were toned well…just the right mixture of muscle for his build…not overdone…a nipple ring looped through the left nipple and he closed his eyes momentarily as he remembered the feel of Heero's mouth sucking in that very spot. Leaning his hands on the now cleared sink he stared at his face… large violet eyes staring back at him. Straightening up, he removed his pants and looked down at his well formed abs, following his fitness formed thighs down to his feet. He had two tattoos…one on each hip. On his left hip was his beloved Deathscythe, beautifully rendered by the artist who had placed it there…and on his right…was Wing Zero, courtesy of the same artist. Heero had always called him beautiful…looking at himself Duo felt doubt cloud his mind yet again. 

"If you really thought I was beautiful, Heero, you wouldn't have left me…you wouldn't have abandoned me. You selfish fucking prick." His voice rose…he could feel himself losing the tenuous grip he had managed and forced himself to relax digging his fingernails into his hands so hard he drew blood. 

Reaching behind his back he snapped the tie on his hair and unbraided it, letting it fall over his body like the curtain he knew it was. He felt safe when he was alone like this…he needed to feel that safety then…needed it badly. With both hands, eyes still concentrating on their reflection, he tugged at his hair…brushing his fingers through it…snagging it roughly. The pain made his eyes water and it was only that pain that convinced him he was still alive and awake and the whole thing hadn't been just an ugly dream. Suddenly the urge for a shower was gone. He needed tension relief…and if he didn't get to the gym soon and work some of it off on a punching bag…the next person who disturbed the ex-Gundam pilot's peace was going to become that punching bag. Pulling on his gym shorts and grabbing one of the gym towels he headed out the door slamming it behind him, knowing that this late in an afternoon it would be relatively empty. "Good, I can break anything I want to and no one can yell at me." As he stalked towards his destination, braiding his hair quickly and efficiently back into its habitual braid, Duo failed to notice he was being watched. 

~~**~~ 

To chapter Five 

Hope the editing isn't hurting people's eyes too badly, and that the story is making up for having to read past my mistakes. Hope you enjoyed it. 

Archived: Here

www.goldenyaoihuggle.com - my site!

www.mediaminer.org/fanfic/ under Arithkenshin

Muwah hah hah hehehe 

~Arith 


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